16th August: Beers and queers

Today is Fi’s birthday. And what a better way to start your birthday than waking up on a train, one hour from Shanghai with the smell of Pot Noodle oozing up your nostrils. Yes, they even eat them for breakfast. We were exhausted and the humidity in Shanghai is an absolute killer. No one could speak a word of English and we were even told to move on by Security outside a building where we decided to sit down for a breather. Eventually a FedEx crew were passing so I got them to direct us to our hostel.

After a quick shower we headed down to the Bund. Shanghai is really modern and again with really good underground systems. Back at Renmin Square I picked up a snack on the street. This time it was a kind of noodle/pancake/cheese thing. It was gorgeous, much nicer than scorpion. For Fi’s birthday we decided to treat ourselves to a good meal. We ended up at a really nice Indian and after dinner we hit the nightlife of Shanghai. The first pub we spotted, we headed for it. Myself and Rich walked in first but they stopped Fi. Apparently, we were heading into a Japanese gentlemen’s club. No ladies allowed. So we moved on to a quaint little spot that serves shots with every drink. After a few of those it was on to the night club.
The night club was on the top of a shopping centre, which was a bit weird. As we went in we were put sitting at a seat. It looked as if they didn't want us mixing with the locals. After a beer or two my bladder was calling out to me, so I headed for the toilet. Like at home, there is a bathroom guy armed with sweets and perfumes at the sinks looking for tips. I noticed this as I went in. I was the only person in there. I proceeded to do my business at the urinal when suddenly I felt two hands massaging my back as I was taking a piss!


Me: NO!
Toilet guy: Blah blah blah in chineese.
Me: NO! NO! Get away from me.
Toilet guy: Blah blah blah in chineese (still massaging.....and taking a little peek)
Me: Get the F@%K away from me.


I zipped up and went over to wash my hands. He followed me and as I tried to leave he insisted that I gave him a tip, and became very angry. My angry stare got him to move away from the door. Now I couldn't go to the toilet again all night! Very strange experience. When Rich heard my story he too decided to give the toilets a miss for the night.


After a few more drinks I spotted a flashing sign pointing upstairs. It was like a call from heaven.....


KARAOKE ROOMS UPSTAIRS!


We burst up the stairs and spent the rest of the night in a drunken haze screaming out such classic hits as "Livin on a prayer'' and ''Sweet child of mine''. Absolutely great craic!


Conveniently we sneaked out of the place reaslising we had no money to pay for our 3 hour private karaoke room session. Ah well!